Over the last month suddenly—without me even realizing it….
….I became one of those moms.
*sigh*
To my credit, this is a very stressful time.
There’s a lot going on.
People are graduating from college.
And finishing classes.
And trying to figure out what they are doing for the rest of their lives.
And amidst all this chaos, I thought I was just being helpful.
And encouraging and uplifting and inspiring and constructive and maybe, just maybe….
…..the tiniest bit overbearing.
After all, this is an occasion of great magnitude.
My chicks are officially leaving the nest.
Just between us?
Parenting on the easiest days is hard.
And learning to parent soon-to-be adults? It’s even harder. After all, you have a LOT of knowlege just waiting to be imparted. I mean—you’ve lived a long life full of pitfalls and speed bumps and generaly missteps and you only want to share that very helpful knowledge. You want to save your children a few steps and pave the road ahead so it’s a little easier.
That’s all I was trying to do.
All I knew was that I was here for all the decisions.
Ready.
Able.
And super, super, super helpful.
And I was.
Helpful, I mean.
One of the twins was trying to figure out what she wanted to do after she graduated.
I watched as she looked into different career paths and made helpful suggestions (only helpful of course).
I listened to all the decisions she had to make and planned out the right path for her (extra, extra helpful).
I read her resume and pointed out just a few teeny tiny things she could improve on (with only the most helpful of tips).
I even told her stories about what I did when I graduated from college and how I made decisions and what I thought the best decisions were for her.
Helpfulness at its finest.
Right?
And then?
I watched as she took some of my advice.
And some?
Not so much.
And I watched as she made her own decisions and started her own plans and suddenly new things were happening and all of a sudden before I knew it…
…her new life was ABOUT TO BEGIN.
And as I stood from the sidelines and watched as the new chapter unfolded—-suddenly I stopped.
What was I doing?
Who was this super-helpful, tip-pointing-out, life evaluating mom that I had become? Why was I so scared to let her make her own decisions? Why was I so nervous that she wouldn’t get it right? Why was it so hard to let go?
Maybe it’s because all these years, I’ve been the decision maker. All these years, I’ve been the one steering the ship. All these years I’ve been in charge of the path ahead.
Truth?
In that moment, I realized that there was only one person who could live her life.
And it wasn’t me.
And so it was that this weekend, we took the first steps towards her new life.
We visited the place that she is going to work.
And (please act surprised) it was AMAZING.
She DID IT.
She found the place that she belongs.
And after our visit, before we left–I hugged her and told her she was so special and that I was so proud of her and that she was a creative, incredible, wonderful, one-of-a-kind-rockstar about to start on this wonderful new journey.
And I was so proud to be her mom.
Then she smiled at me—the kind of smile someone gives you when they know you and all your faults and they love you anyway and then she hugged me back as if so say “Don’t worry, Mom. I got this.”
And in spite of all my “helpfulness.”
She does.
PS A giant shout out to my own mother—who has let me live my own life, too. Now that I know how hard it is? I love you even more.
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