I still remember when I dropped my daughters off at their freshman dorm four years ago.
It seems like a lifetime and a minute all rolled into one.
We stood there in the parking lot, hugging and crying—two sets of blue eyes so full of worry and uncertainty and questions.
“Mom, what if we don’t know where our classes are?”
“What if we can’t call you in time?”
“What if we don’t make any friends?”
“What if we get a flat tire?”
Oh, sweet girls.
You. Made. It.
Somehow, I blinked, and the twins are graduating from Baylor. I’m clinging to every minute of every day and telling it to wait. But time doesn’t slow down even for moms with teary eyes and stacks of college graduation announcements.
And so today I wanted to write the twins a letter.
A letter full of helpful (and completely unsolicited advice) for the next steps in their journey.
Here are seven things I want to teach my daughters for the road ahead.
Dear daughters of mine,
I am so incredibly blessed to be your mother.
It seems like yesterday you arrived into the world full of tiny ballerina toes and wisps of blonde hair and wistful blue eyes that spoke directly to my heart.
And now?
Now you are full of giggles and big opinions and personality and Sonic dirty Dr. Peppers and blue eyes that roll.
I am so proud of you.
As you run through this summer between college and the start of a brand new life in a brand new world—signing health insurance forms and picking out new apartments and deciding what to wear to a new job and whether you should you keep getting your hair highlighted now that you are paying for own your hair care….
…the next chapters of your life are about to unfold.
Now is the time to pass on some very important information.
1. Be on time
This is actually your daddy’s rule.
And my daddy’s rule before that.
You are kind of in charge of yourself now. To quote Dr. Seuss, “You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can go any direction you choose.”
And those shoes?
They should be on time.
Truth?
I know you can’t believe this is advice number one because I’m never on time. Sigh. I know. I get it. I so wish I had set a better example in this department, but that’s how I know how important it is.
Showing up on time means that you are showing respect and that the people you are showing up for are important to you.
Like your co-workers.
And your family.
And all the people at the occasional awkward class reunion.
Daddy told me to tell you to actually plan to be there five minutes early. It will make the rest of life so much easier.
2. Put down your phone
You are about to embark on an adventure.
There will be so many firsts.
Your first post-college apartment.
Your first day of work.
Your first co-worker bestie.
Your first staff meeting.
Your first real paycheck.
Your first OFFICIAL EMPLOYMENT EXPERIENCE.
And if you are on your phone? You might miss something.
Truth?
There is a giant big wide world out there that’s not found on the 3″x 4″ phone screen. Open your eyes. Open your heart. Embrace every moment.
Life is meant to be lived, not just documented.
3. Pick up that phone and call me
I’m not sure if you know this or not?
But life after college is EVEN BETTER.
I have been a part of your college life for the last four years. I’ve heard the gossip and the heartache and the triumphs and the funny stories and all about sorority rush and job searching and University Sing and all those awkward moments that you wish you could do over.
Do you know how lucky I am that you’ve shared it with me?
And now?
Don’t stop.
I’m still here.
I’m still listening.
Just remember, no one understands and loves you like your mother.
Call me and I’ll remind you.
4. You are beautiful
I may have mentioned this before, but you are truly beautiful.
Inside and out.
I know you think I’m supposed to say that because I’m your mother.
At this minute, I can actually feel your eyes rolling.
But one day the world will tell you that you aren’t. They will tell you that you need to be skinnier or blonder or taller or more of this or less of that. They will try to convince you that you need to change.
Don’t listen.
They have no idea what they are talking about. They don’t know.
But I do.
And I know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are perfect and incredible and beautiful….
….just like you are.
5. Duck tape fixes everything
Your daddy is helping me write this list.
Just between us? He’s a little sad, too.
For all these years, he’s fixed all the things that need fixing. He’s put bandaids on skinned knees and built treehouses and fixed bikes and put furniture together and painted rooms and even cut your tree limbs that were hanging too low at your Baylor apartments.
I told him you will be okay with your brand new apartments, but he’s kind of worried you can’t fix things on your own.
So he’s leaving you with this advice.
If your picture frame breaks? If your molding falls down? If your suitcase handle breaks?
Just use ducktape.
He has a roll for each of you.
6. Be kind
There is a world of people who are hurting. People who are overwhelmed. People who are sad. People who have more issues than Vogue.
Treat them the way you want to be treated.
You have been given many gifts, my sweet, twinkly-eyed girls.
Use them wisely.
Never, ever make fun of someone else.
In your life and your new jobs, you will encounter many people who won’t return that kindness.
Don’t worry.
Be kind anyway.
Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, you never know the battle that someone else is fighting.
7. Don’t be afraid to fly
This is the beginning of an entirely new chapter.
A new start.
A new beginning.
You are officially leaving the nest.
Don’t be afraid of failure.
Don’t be afraid to try.
Nothing in this world is accomplished by someone sitting on the sidelines.
As your grandfather told me and now I tell you…
…life is about the doing.
Truth?
I am typing this with tears in my eyes because it is SO HARD to let you go. Now that college is done, I want you to come back home. I want you to live in the house next door to me and come over for coffee every morning.
But here’s the thing.
That’s not your story.
You have big wings and a big heart and big plans and big dreams. Life is waiting for you. The most amazing things are just around the corner.
This is your time.
This is your moment.
This is your day my precious, wonderful, incredible, beautiful daughters.
Take it all in. And then? Spread your wings…
….AND FLY.
I love you,
Mom
PS When you are done flying? That house next to me is really cute. Just think about it.
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